Yeah.

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 18:25:08 GMT

Cancer sucked. I have never really talked about it with anybody, because it's just... it sucked and it was embarassing and I fell apart for a while because of it. Chemo makes your whole body ache and you throw up things you think you didn't even have in your stomach. You get weak and depressed because you can't go anywhere because you're so sick and it's just... it was a really bad time, and I'm not the type of guy to talk about my emotions, or myself really, because there's a lot of shit I just feel like I can't trust people with. Or that people won't understand.

After I went into remission I decided I was going to turn everything around. I built my body back up from nothing- literally nothing, I was wasting away. I graduated high school and graduated college with honors. I wanted to do something that would help people, but I know I'm not the smartest guy, so I went into teaching. And every so often I get to give a kid some advice and maybe it makes even a little difference in their day or their life or whatever. I like to hope maybe it does.

Basically I've tried to be everything I wasn't, growing up. I've tried to be a nice guy, a strong guy- the type of guy a person can look up to. Because I very well could have and should have died in high school, and I feel like if for some reason I have a second chance at my life, I should make the best of it.

Then that fucking DJ has the nerve to talk shit about my career and my illness and it sucks because I'm so fucking ashamed. I haven't slept with a girl since I got sick. I dunno, I think I'm just embarassed. Yeah, people wouldn't expect someone like me to be shy, but I guess around women I kind of am now. People like Jay Hogart don't exactly help any.

And Manny is in love with that son of a bitch. I look at her and she's so beautiful and so nice and so much better than him and I see the way she looks at him. She is. And it's fucked up.

Call me whatever you want. I don't give a fuck.

Five years later and I'm still at degrassi...

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 00:12:16 GMT

So it's been five years since graduation. I know this because Archie informed me the other day that there's going to be a reunion here. It will sure be interesting to see all these people that went on to bigger and better things. Especially since I am literally right back where I started.

And I couldn't be happier.

Last year I graduated with a degree in secondary education physical ed, and with the help of Mr. Simpson, who I can now call Archie (is that cool or what?) I teach gym here at degrassi. I also coach the girls and junior varsity soccer teams. It's been a pretty great year- and the soccer teams have done well- the girls took second in the district, which was really cool. And really beyond that I've just been having a good time. I live in a bachelor pad downtown near the college, and when I'm not working, I'm playing drums in a band with Joey and Archie. Yeah, it's a little gay because they are old as fuck but hey, they bring beer and it passes the time, you know?

Like I said, it seemed like everyone was in such a rush to get out of high school and out of TO and do something impressive with their lives. I loved high school, it was the best time of my life, and I really am glad to still be there. Plus, I think working with kids kind of is impressive. Guiding and teaching and helping some of these little assholes is really rewarding. There are even some kids around now who remind me a lot of some of my friends from back in the day. It'll be really cool to see them, you know? Shoot the shit about old times, see who got pregnant, who got rich, and so on.

If anybody wants to party before the reunion, my door is always open. drummersRsexy2

Gavin Mason

Yeah.

Five years later and I'm still at degrassi...